Several groups from red states, who were upset with the presidential election, have requested permission to secede from the union. This article is a humorous attempt to take them seriously. Most of the red states are net takers from the blue states. They receive more in government largess than they payout in taxes. If we were to use Romney's language they are the "moocher" states that are supported by taxpayers from the blue states. Those who live in the blue states would be better off financially if they were allowed to secede. The groups that want to secede are also sore losers. They lost the game so they want to take their ball and go home. If they did secede, we would get a mass migration to the blue states from those who want their Medicare and Social Security even though it comes from the federal government.